Today My Little Girl is One!!!

I look at her and wonder where did the time go? We played, we laughed, we cried, but did I really do all the things I wanted? Most likely not. But here begins another year to bring us promise and celebration.
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This year you have learned to nurse, hold a cup, drink from a bottle, eat solids, cookies, & lots and lots of Cheerios. You can play by yourself, play with others, chase kitties and dogs, step on stairs, fall down steps, roll over, rock back and forth, crawl, walk, and run. You know your bow goes in your hair and that you shouldn't have taken it out, your shoes and socks go on your feet & how to take them off. Your hands go over your ears or on the side of your head and rarely over your eyes to play peek-a-boo. You have weighed so little they were worried, so much that you topped the charts, and now have weighed the same for 6 months! You can push buttons, turn knobs and clap. You can say "all done" and "more" with your hands though you have no idea what they mean. You poke people's eyes including playmates in your class. During Sunday School you clutch a Jeremy Giraffe the whole time, doesn't matter if someone else wants it. When you're happy you do a little dance with your head, and you can dance with your feet! You put your head down on the floor for Daddy so he can flip you over, and you even did a forward roll all by yourself one time. We are so proud of you, can you tell?

I cannot wait to see what this year holds or what you will become. God has special plans for you my little one. You are feisty and pretty. Active and sweet. You cuddle and push. You love to point at things and say, "Yen Yey!" or whatever that was you said. Every stuffed animal or baby belongs to you of course. You especially love Cupcake (a giant bear Rebecca won on her birthday) and Hello Kitty which actually used to be mine. I have to admit you have good taste. That picture of you at 5 weeks could not be more perfect! Anything girlie or stuffed makes you say, "OHHHH!" with the biggest excalamation a voice could hold. And if given the option now you would cuddle that bunny just like that.

And did I mention that before you had croup your favorite thing was to scream at the top of your lungs? Which brings me to mention that you've already had your first hospital visit. It didn't go so well.

You know when you're in trouble or when I'm going to clean your hands. You hold out your hands easily for a slap or a cleaning. It's quite intelligent and willing of you in my opinion. You love to say Mommma, mommmma, mommma or Daddadadada. Meeemeemeee is another one of your favorites you are saying just now. You stick out your tongue when someone says, "blah!" because you've eaten something you shouldn't have. You pick up every little thing from the carpet, including the candy Nerds. You've actually eaten one, too!

You fuss if left alone or presented with new people. You are a people person and will even smile at everyone in the library (even if they don't notice you), yet you love all your peeps at home and feel most comfortable with them.

You laugh when tickled and fuss when it's not going just right. You keep me busy all day so that my room is a mess most of the time, dinner is half done, lunch is half done, and the laundry. But we all love you just the same! My heart is full, that's for sure. And I am thankful to have you in my life. You have taught me to love and to laugh and give up everything I thought I had already given up! All together my heart is struck with love for you!!!

Spoken Words

Why do I have to say stupid things? The only thing good about the movie "How Do You Know?" is that one line. I wish you could rewind and take all the words back. But for some reason at certain times when my brain is full of words it is hard or impossible or something to see how the words are gonna affect others. And then "blewpmsbkahis'aljs" I say whatever I was thinking. And then for HOURS later I think about what I just said. I even cringe inside thinking of how that person must be feeling even NOW. And then I realize I'm actually going to SEE them again and I have to decide if I'm going to mention it and apologize or let it go. If I sweep it under the rug it is no big deal to me except that I will always wonder if it really hurt them and they are secretly thinking about it. And then I wonder, "WHY DO I HAVE TO SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?!"

the end.

Sweet Baby

My dear sweet Amber...my heart goes out to you and Jerry. I know you are missing your baby and hurting so bad. I can only imagine a little bit what the hurt must feel like. Please know we are all praying for you both and for Hayden, too. We love you.

Christmas Shopping Extravaganza!

Christmas is done. I have shopped. I have dropped. I am D-O-N-E. Which means...I can now sit by the fire and enjoy my Christmas tree and my family. I can make cookies. I can think straight. I can wait for the presents to arrive that I ordered. I can wrap them leisurely. Did I mention that I've also wrapped all of the presents I've already purchased? I know that it is somewhere around 60 because I purchased three sets of labels with 20 in each and I don't have any left. Unless there's one hiding somewhere...But the presents are under the tree. The kids are excited. And all but ONE has shipped. That ONE is for Elizabeth, and while if it doesn't get here she will be bummed she will at least understand...I hope!

Micah got his IPhone 4 today. He passed down his IPhone 3 to me. Which means that I am probably the only person in the world who has never wanted an IPhone (and still doesn't) but has one! I think that is hilarious. I really resisted him on this b/c I wanted to save the monthly cost, and I personally hate technology. But I could tell he really wanted me to have it and not sell it. So I caved. And now I have an electronic address book basically. I'm sure I'll grow to love it.

Getting Ready for Christmas

Finally...I have a minute. And FINALLY I feel like we're getting ready for the big day. Some presents are bought. The kids are getting excited...I'm thinking of the family we will see. It's going to be a good day. And I'm looking forward to that.

How's everyone else doing?

Where Have I Been

I look over the blogs and it seems so surreal. Where have I been? It's like the world of teaching/motherhood just sucked me right in. I don't even know where I've been, what I've been doing or who you all are! So much has changed in all of your lives that it seems unfamiliar to me and almost as if I'm eavesdropping. Here it is almost Christmas and the year is almost over. I ask myself...what have I been doing? How would I catch you all up on ME? My life is much more boring than any of yours, but it is busy.

I guess I've been waking up at 6:30 since the time change. It was 7:20 before that, so it has been a HUGE adjustment for me. I'm still not there. But my little rooster wakes me every morning.

I nurse my little baby and look at her face, remembering soon she'll be 13. I wonder what she'll be like. I then wrastle everyone else out of bed to get showered and dress. We eat. I go for a walk with a friend, do my exercises, stay in my workout clothes almost all day. But while I am away, we start school immediately. I cram as much information and activities as I can in one day. We used to run errands but I had to stop that. Now I do that on the weekends only if I can help it. We have lunch and continue our cramming. And I juggle the baby and housework and chores getting done, trying to find a little free time for everybody. Sometimes a moment strikes me that everyone is busy and the baby is sleeping. And though I should make the bed or something, rather I lie in it for one or two minutes reveling in the mystery of that two minutes.

And then someone needs me, or four somebody's need me. I get a certain someone ready for their evening classes day in and day out. Sometimes it seems that's all there is. And we return home to make dinner, eat, put away laundry, go pick up that certain somebody. Then I listen to countless stories of all the exercises, laps she ran, how many bumps and bruises she has. I coddle and hug, shower and dress. Put her to bed. Figure out what to do with the baby. And Elizabeth has activities, too.

My life very much feels like touch and go. I'm always figuring out the next moment. And then I go to the next.

So these last few months have been swept away with me trying to keep up with everything, particularly school. In one sort of day I am a math teacher, an astronomy teacher, a physical science teacher, English teacher, History teacher, a physical education and health teacher for three different grade levels, and at the end of the day I'm just plain tuckered out! Sometimes I walk through the house at night muttering to myself as I get things picked up and put away. Usually I get sent to bed for that. I think I'll put myself to bed, too.

Hello

I haven't written in so long that I don't really want to start out griping, but that's really why I'm posting! When I feel I can't turn to anyone, I guess I blog. I guess my plate's been pretty full lately and I haven't had time or something.

Do you ever feel damned if you do and damned if you don't? I'm in one of those pickles now. I'm on a costume committee where I am one of the only two who can sew. The ones who can't sew want us to re-use the costumes from last year where we can. I think that's very kind as they are not wanting to overload the two of us who know how to sew. They think it's a waste that their mom sewed a costume that will never be used again. Is that really my problem? I don't feel it is.

My predicament is that I have a daughter who would very much like a new costume, and I don't mind sewing one for her. So do you see my dilemma? If I sew a costume I am pleasing my husband and daughter but upsetting the others who really NEED me to sew costumes for them. Actually I'm supposed to be helping the kids sew costumes, but in reality I don't know if that will work. We'll see. Why is it that every good thing has to have a sour side at some time or another? So I feel crunched to please the people I love but realize I cannot please all of them in this situation.

My solution: Get all the other costumes sewn and then crunch in one last costume for Elizabeth at the end. I really don't think they can be mad if I use my spare time to do so. But I find myself angry with everyone that they have put me in this predicament. Next time I will state that I will have to talk with my kids first and then make their costumes second. Sorry.