5 Steps

For all of you wanting to know that's about as far as I made it Saturday morning. Sometime early morning I couldn't sleep for excitement at the possibility of something so exciting happening in just a few hours only two blocks away. Life had been so...ugly...so overwhelming depressing at times. With my dad in the hospital and this vein thing I was down in the dumps all week and STRESSED out. Then Micah stirred in bed, so I did the unthinkable and asked him what he thought. He's my gauge, you know. He said so awake-like, "Honey, that's crazy." So that was that. I knew I shouldn't do it. Going against his advice would be like jumping off a cliff. I did walk though. In fact I had to or I may have involuntarily drove to the fire station for the dern race. I thought the best thing to do would be to go as far away from the car as possible, so I headed out on my 3 mile circuit. I walked 3 miles and attempted to run. I only made it five steps. Boy, my husband is smart. It just pulled too much and didn't feel good. I didn't like that at all. The doctor's say you CAN run. They just fail to tell you that you won't feel like it!

I walked 4 miles Sunday, trying to convince myself that this could be just as good as running. And reminding myself that we are working up to something here. And Sunday night I had to get out again and do a little 2 mile walk. My body was just full of energy with nowhere for it to go! I tried to run a block, walked a little and ran another block. So since then I have run 1 1/2 miles at the most for a total of 4 miles this whole week. It's not a lot, but it's something. And honestly I kind of pay for it with a little more bruising when I get done. But I've just got to get it out of my system. I cannot explain it, but it's just surprisingly horrible to have to sit around and not do much. To see people running, and really want to participate.

So, for now I have decided to wait until all of this surgery stuff is over before I race. We need to save the money anyway and not spend it on races. We'll see if I'm still singing the same tune next weekend when the next town over is having their 5 miler. Oh, I want to do that one so bad! What is wrong with me?