My answer to Wal-Mart's politically correct statement is the manger scene I created. I figure if you can't buy it at the store, then we'll just have to make it instead! I get so tired of the giant Wal-Mart that Americans think can answer all of their needs and wants (me included).

Micah has two weeks off! I am so excited for our family to get some time together. We really need it, and to top everything off God blessed us with a significant raise. What a special blessing! So...for now most of my family is sleeping...Blaine is watching the Christmas Star...and I am catching up with classmates on Facebook.
***
I am almost done with my Christmas shopping. I just have a few things to figure out for my brother, my cousins, my nieces, and my nephew. I am super excited about the gifts we got our girls this year. We found two wonderful cookbooks for Elizabeth. One is called A Mermaid Cookbook and has recipes that look like things you would find on the beach or in the sea. It is so beautiful, and I think she will really like it. The other is a 1957 Betty Crocker Cookbook for Boys and Girls. It has lists with pictures of every utensil you need to stock your kitchen, basic recipes for cooking eggs and other common things everyone needs to know. It is fantastic, and I can't wait for her use it. For Rebecca I found an American Girl Gymnastics book! What a find. It has excerpts of famous gymnasts, what to do if you get injured, how to's on the bar etc, how to do your hair (she'll love that), posters, etc. And it was only $9! One of the most exciting things for me is that I get 20% off with my teacher's discount.
***
Rebecca jumped from the low bar to the high bar in her class on Thursday. They were supposed to learn that skill in their next class, but she asked her teacher if she could try. She did it! Many of the girls were timid about trying, but all of them tried after she did it. I was so button busting proud of her!
***
Another exciting thing is that both of our girls have been very excited about reading for the first time ever. Micah made this wonderful reading chart at the beginning of the fall semester, and Elizabeth filled hers in very quickly. Rebecca has been sort of dragging her feet and just getting a little done each day and only because I make her. Well, she finally got to the halfway prize of getting to pick out a $5 book. She chose a Christmas fairy book and read it in 3 days. She is now only 30 minutes away from finishing her entire chart. We bought her the second fairy book, and she stayed up last night reading and reading. Finally I told her she had to go to bed. She told me the cutest thing, "It's amazing how when you find something you like to read, you just don't want to stop." Whew. Maybe there's hope for us yet!

Wal-Mart Eat Your Heart Out!

You'll notice to the right my reply to Wal-Mart's statement to be "politically correct" this year! There is NOTHING any store can make, that God can't do better.

So there.

Be Sure to Turn Your Speakers ON....

if you want to hear some Christmas music.

Favorite Christmas Movies...(please add your own)

1. It's a Wonderful Life (oh, my nothing compares)
2. Santa Claus 1, 2, and 3
3. The Nativity
4. The Chronicles of Narnia
5. The Polar Express (awesome)

I've Had A Wonderful Two Days...

No sickness, and one of my friends just delivered her 11th child. Yes, I said 11th! Her 6th child, who happens to be 6 came and stayed two days with us (just during the day). He was such a delight as blaine and he played non-stop for two days straight. This entertainment provided me with time to bake, relax, play games with the girls, and help them with school. We have watched so many fun Christmas movies that I usually don't take time to see. But since I have been staying home, it has provided me time to enjoy these wonderful luxuries.

I feel so blessed this year with the ability to give homemade gifts to my friends. Usually it is not until I leave a friend's house that I realize I should have made them some cookies for Christmas, but for whatever reason God has given me grace this year to realize beforehand that it will only take a minute or two to whip something up. Unfortunately this has provided me with a few extra pounds, because a baker must sample her goodies for authenticity.

We still have many, many things to do to get ready for Christmas, but alas payday is not until Friday! We must wait until then to finish the job. And then we will join every other Christmas-crazed person who has waited until the last minute! Oh, well!*

S*N*O*W*F*L*A*K*E*S

I love this time of year! I cannot believe we got snow last night!!! Now for you Dallas folk, northerners, I know that is not a big deal to have 1/8" of snow. But for us southerners, any snowflake before Christmas is completely unheard of. The kids played all morning on the trampoline, scooping and sliding and giggling. It was a great time! They came in frequently to tank up on hot chocolate and to warm themselves by the fire, but it was wonderful to see their rosy cheeks all morning delighting in God's early Christmas present.

Grumpy Old Lady

The below post sounds like I'm such a grumpy old lady. I hope everyone understands that I don't have this horrible aversion to toddlers or anything. In fact, I love them! That is partly why I wanted to take on the job so badly. But there is something incredibly different about going through a pregnancy, having a baby, and enjoying it grow into a toddler rather than having one plunked on your doorstep every morning. She's incredibly cute, but if she is anything like her brother and sister she probably gives everyone a run for their money. I mean, I have to ask myself WHY they have gone through 3 nannies in her short 18 month old life. There MUST be a reason. Somehow her parents think $50 a day is more than enough to compensate for our lives being totally turned upside-down by their three children. I just don't think so. At first I was ready to jump on it, and Micah brought me down to planet Earth. But still, the thought of getting to influence their little lives and hug her little hands brings a little bit of nostalgia to my heart.

But every time I leave the house mid-day for a run around the neighborhood or take Rebecca to gymnastics or Elizabeth to dance I ask myself how in the world I was planning to get that done with THREE extra children. It just couldn't happen! I would be trapped at home. So, please don't judge me for sounding like a grumpy old lady. And just the thought of leaving home every day at 2:35 to pick them up from school. Ugh. We can't even get our own school done by then. Then, they wanted me to do school with THEIR children until they got home at 5:30. I think they're crazy! Or at least I would be.

Close One

I've come to feel better about the childcare situation. Waking up at 10 am this morning helped me to see that there was really no way I could have been ready for a toddler in the house ALL DAY. I've been coughing all morning, and my house looks like I haven't swept or vacuumed in years. I cannot imagine having to deal with another child on top of mine.

Another funny thing is that we were talking to our neighbors this weekend. The husband decided to stay home all month to care for the kids. She commented that she didn't see how he was going to get any work done with her in the house! Whew. That was a close one on my part.

I'm sick with the same congestion stuff micah had over thanksgiving. I've almost worked my way through an entire box of 160 Kleenex. I'm taking every medicine and supplement known to man. I can't wait to feel better. Why is it that every time I can start exercising again, something else happens? Please tell me this will just be a season.

I am still not feeling better about the childcare situation with my neighbor. To me, it seems we are not being a good neighbor, but honestly I really don't want to be tied down every day.

After 6 years, I am FINALLY ordering prints online. We realized the other day that blaine doesn't remember very much about his childhood because he has no pictures. We don't tell him stories of it because I don't think we remember either. Snapfish has prints for $.09 each. At that price I can afford to do this. No more excuses, and now I have two girls who can help me get them in an album. Yes, this should be a piece of cake.

Well, I did it. I told her I couldn't do it. It was so horribly hard to do. One of those times when you feel like you're really letting someone down. And even doubly hard is that we have been praying diligently for this family. I can't help but wonder if God was trying to make a way for me to have some influence on their life. Did I shut the door? But I must trust my husband's judgement. He really didn't think it was a good idea.

Amy I crazy?

Am I crazy to pass up $1000? A neighbor needs someone to watch her kids for one month. I would have the baby all day, every day and the two school aged kids after school. I'd love the money, but as Micah said, "Is it really worth it?". They are not the most well-behaved kids. They get into stuff, say things they shouldn't, and are down-right disobedient. Ugh. Why couldn't they be wonderful children? Somehow I have to tell her I can't do it. It's difficult for me b/c I could really use the money for the kids school, to purchase clothing, and to buy an ipod. I know the ipod is not really that important, but it does have to do with my health. I will be using it to run. Lord, why do you give us such difficult decisions to make?

"The Search"

We are in the market for a small wire nativity set for the yard. You know the small ones (not life-size) that have lights wrapped around them? Has anyone seen any during their excursions? I have checked Wal-mart and Lowe's. Both places looked at me like I was from Mars when I mentioned I wanted a Nativity set. I was promptly told at both places that they have lots of Santas. Wal-mart stated they decided not to carry any nativity scenes for the yard this year in hopes of being politically correct. Somehow this doesn't surprise me. I guess that means they removed all secular books, Catholic candles, and Stars of David. I doubt it. They just don't get it. I really tried not to get angry. The poor cashier really has nothing to do with it, but I came home depressed anyway. Depression really is suppressed anger. Wow.

Goals for next year (that I might possibly be able to control)

• go on more dates with my husband
• spend more time with my kids on purpose
• paint the living room & upstairs hallways
• run in a 5k
• stay in budget every single month (oh, that would be awesome)
• shop more garage sales

I am really looking forward to our anniversary. We are planning to stay downtown and see the Radio City Rockettes. Wouldn't that be awesome? They are coming to austin! I'd love to take a carriage ride...go for a walk...eat dinner somewhere...just spend time together. I need a break so badly, and I really need time alone with my husband. 13 years! And I love him even more than I did then. Every year we talk over our yearly goals, so I have to start thinking early in order to be ready.

THINGS I'M THANKFUL FOR....

Husband
Friends
Family
Smell
Sight
Hearing
Health
Running
Walking
Laughing
Children
Parents
Faith
Country
School
Choices
Trees
Leaves
Cami
Grass
Skies
Sunsets
Paints
Paper
Watercolor
Brushes
Pencils
Erasers
FOOD
Clothing
Medicine
Vitamins
God, I thank you for all these things and so much more! Someone once said, "What if God took away everything we didn't thank Him for? What would we have left?"
Everyday, we have hundreds of things to be thankful for that we didn't think of yesterday!

Homeschooling

All the kids got new math books today. Everyone is so excited! Blaine is by far the most excited. He has been looking for his giraffe book for weeks now. In fact when I showed him on the computer that there was another math book after his, he sat down and finished 10 lessons! He's quite an over-achiever, praise the Lord! He insists on reading an entire reader in one sitting (the ones that are meant to be read in about 1 week or more). He is so different from his sisters. Whew. I just hope it stays that way. This week he learned how to read words with long vowel sounds. Sniff. Sniff.

About a month ago I officially started the kids on their first spelling program. Elizabeth's spelling was so atrocious, I knew it was past time. Someone gave me the $75 curriculum I had wanted to purchase but didn't have the money for. Isn't God good? I've had it for almost 10 months (ugh), but there are about 150 pages (no kidding) to read before you start. Is there any wonder now why I waited so long? Finally, I just asked my friend to summarize for me. So far, Elizabeth has cried every day. {That's been fun.} So, Micah and I decided to change her method. This really cool program only requires the students to study the words they DON'T know, rather than an entire list that they may or may not know. So, now she gets to study the entire list. She started complaining today, and you know for the first time it really didn't bother me. I just told her it didn't affect me because she cried the other way, too, and this was the way we were going to do it from now on. It was so freeing to have this talk with micah last night and to realize it was okay to do things differently. I suppose she feels embarrassed if she misses a word and feels she hasn't had a chance to ever know it. Well, now she has a chance.

I have this pre-conceived idea of how I want our school to run, but I am learning I must let go of that. She in particular is really good at helping me to do just that. Nothing ever comes out the way I planned it to! Did that sound like a screaming fit???

Rebecca has been asked to take gymnastics twice a week and thus start competing. Last week she learned how to get on the bar the way the gymnasts do at the Olympics. I was so proud of her!

Elizabeth helped her friend choreograph a dance that will be performed at a nursing home by all the older co-op girls. I can't wait to see it! She is also taking a hip-hop class, and I just love her teacher! She is this cute little thing. She teaches 5th grade at an elementary school and bursts through the doors on Friday evening full of energy. She's African-American and really good at motivating the girls. Elizabeth loves it and is quite good at it, too.

And then I have to brag on Blaine one more time. Our boy threw the pass that got the winning touchdown for his flag football team! We were beaming with joy!

Toaters and Toasts

Can you tell I'm bored? I keep blogging! Please do not feel obligated to read everything, just peruse. Saturday morning my toaster caught on fire! I put a piece of toast in, left and went to check my email. Suddenly, the smell wafted upstairs, and I raced downstairs in time to see the toaster oven engulfed in flames. How could I so easily forget what I was doing? The knob has been broken for quite some time, making the toaster stay on until you unplug the whole thing. That did it for me. We are now the proud owners of a Cuisinart, lovely normal toaster. I got it at 20% off thanks to my friend (see my Nourishing blog for the whole story).

Saturday evening we were invited to a wedding shower for his boss. The invitation read:

219 West
Austin, Texas

I thought the people were kind of weird not to put "Avenue" or even a zip code. I don't know, it just looked funny. I googled early in the week, proud that I was ahead of things with "directions". That night we hired a babysitter, dressed up a little and headed downtown for a night of fun. We assumed it was at the hostess house. Wouldn't you? We drove down West Avenue only to have it dead-end into an abyss of darkness. Surely...surely...these people know where they live. We turned around and drove in the other direction. We checked the iphone for directions one more time. We stopped, and micah asked for directions (a miracle in itself!). She said, I don't think that's a street name, I think that's a place. At this point we are 20 minutes late for "dinner" for a boss who likes everyone on time, every time. We see some friends from church by "coincidence". They pray for us to be a beacon of light and to find this crazy place.

Micah realizes it's a bar, and calls his boss (upon my urging) for directions. His crazy friend, mark, answers. I can hear him yelling into the phone, drunk with loud music blaring behind him. Oh boy, this is going to be fun. My palms start sweating and I wonder if I really want to go. I'm picturing some crazy gay bar or worse...I wouldn't put it passed any of them. But surely the bride-to-be wouldn't stand for such nonsense. I hope? His friend manages to give him the cross streets, but we wonder if he has any idea what he is talking about. We drive around, find a parking place on the street (whew) and look up, there is 219 West. It's a nice little place that I might actually go back to some time. They have great appetizer type snacks and coke. You can't go wrong with that, and you can sit outside and see a bustling downtown. We were downstairs in this little basement type room, crammed in like sardines. While his friend is crazy and desperately in need of Jesus, he managed to get us there, and we managed to have a really good time. I just pray that whatever little ray of light we may have shed, God could burst through their hearts and do a good work.

Things I'm Learning

We have been mentoring a pre-engagement couple for about 7 months now. They are so wonderfully sweet, and so desperately wanting to do things right so that they have a great marriage. But for a while now Micah and I have been sensing that they need to put Jesus first. "Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you." I mean you can read all the right books, put all the principles in place, say all the right things, and still end up in divorce. We by no means have it all together, nor do we always put Christ first. But we aim to. We so desperately need to present this to them in a gentle, loving way. Pray for us. "He is before all things, and in him all things hold together." Colossians 1:17

"For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." Colossians 1:9-13

What have I learned from all this? When you have to teach someone something, you are always forced to completely understand it...to turn it over...to mull it over inside and out...to truly know it. Otherwise it is obvious that you have no idea what you are talking about! Whether it be fractions or marriage or Christ I aim to know my subject and be transparent.

We have the privilege at church of getting to know 20 other couples who also mentor married couples, pre-engagement, and engagement. Some of them have been doing it for 15 years! Some of them have been going to Grace for 30 years! That astounds me. I can't imagine being anywhere for that long. But I was so amazed last night listening to them. Their hearts are truly incredible. They desire nothing less than to know Christ and to point people in that direction. I have learned that to truly have a great marriage you must lose all selfishness, pride, and haughty thinking. You must truly give it all away. I have loved reading the book "Created to Be His Helpmeet". Our church has not recommended it, and many don't like it. I'm somewhere in that category, too. It is an incredibly hard book to read, and I don't completely agree with her on everything. I won't ever be able to do everything in the book, and I don't think I ever want to. But what is great about it is that she sees marriage as a ministry, an opportunity to become more Christ-like, and an opportunity to serve your husband and she gives examples of how to do that. Not many people have the guts to do that. It is strong, but in this day and age I think it is what many of us need to hear. Or, at least I do.

Blaine is asleep on the couch with "Cars" playing. He has fever. Rebecca is lying down in my room watching "Belle". I am ready for bed. Do you ever just wish things could be normal? I am trying not to complain b/c I know things are worse for so many other people.

Yesterday I realized that at the end of the school year Rebecca will no longer be in an elementary class at church, ever again. She will be moving up to orange dots which is the pre-teen class at church. What?!? She's way too young for that! Isn't she? What happened to my baby? And Elizabeth will be in 7th grade!?! I need some time to adjust to all of this. I don't like it at all.

Threw My Back Out

Yep. Never done that before. So, I'll have to follow Micah in the ranks of twice daily back exercises. You would think....

"The United States had its own civil war crisis that threatened to destroy the nation. President Abraham Lincoln, sensing the critical need for God's help, proclaimed a national day of fasting with these words...
'We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of heaven. We have been preserved, these many years, in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth and power, as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace, and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us; and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God who made us! It behooves us, then to humble ourselves before the offended power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.'" (From The Rebirth of America. The Arthur S. DeMoss Foundation, page 151.)
(Both quotes taken from Supernatural Prayer and Fasting by Richard Booker, page 162.)

VOTE!!!

If you haven't gotten your tailbone out there yet, you better get out there and VOTE on Tuesday! And you better vote for mccain or I will puke. If you need more convincing than that, just go to youtube and find some of the stupid things the other guy believes. And let's all pray for mercy for our country. Honestly, we deserve obama , but I am praying that our country will turn and repent of it's horrible ways. Lord, forgive us for aborting more than 50 million babies since 1973. And please do not allow a man into the white house that will encourage more lives to be taken. Micah watched a youtube today with the question about abortion. McCain didn't bat an eye. He said, from the moment of concepetion a baby is a person. Obama stumbled around and couldn't figure out what to say. "You see...it's a very personal...a very spiritual...it has to do with when the spirit...and when the physical...and if my daughters make a mistake I don't want them punished with a baby..." Oh, puke.

Well, now you know how I feel. But if you vote otherwise, I will never know and will always love you. Just vote!

Thankfully, I ran for the past two days. I was so out of shape! How could this happen in just one week!?! Last Friday I ran 1 1/2 miles. I have resigned myself to being happy with 3 minutes of running, 2 minutes of walking for 2 miles. Tomorrow I will try for 3 miles. I was able to complete the whole 4 mile circuit in 1 hour. I was pleased as punch with that.

It's amazing how down on ourselves we can get. I had convinced myself this morning (and probably still believe slightly) that I never really was in shape. Micah encouraged me greatly by firmly stating that indeed I was. At least someone thought so, and it was the most important someone.

After all, what is the purpose of being in shape? To live longer? To live better? To see more? To do more? I must have purpose. I must see something greater than just hitting the road, watching miles pass day after day.

Overall, I feel it is very spiritual. I feel I am doing what I can to take care of the temporary temple of the Holy Spirit. I am motivated to do more, to see more, and to care for others more when I take care of myself. I want to live into old age, not with disease and crippled, but with life and vitality. I want to be like the 90 year old man I see running the roads with me. I want my grandchildren to aspire to run as I do. And why? Because this country has too many people on the couch with nothing to do. No purpose, no dignity, and no self-concept of how wonderful they really are. For me, running, stretching, and strength training remind me that I am worth taking care of. What goes in my mind, what comes out of my mouth, and how I spend my time needs to be the very best.

Matthew 15:16"Are you still so dull?" Jesus asked them. 17"Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man 'unclean.' 19For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20These are what make a man 'unclean'; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him 'unclean.' "

Running

I tried to run. I want to run. It hurt. And it still hurts....
I am trying not to be frustrated.

Livestrong

Tammie's post made me realize I need to brag on Micah. He participated in the 45 mile Lance Armstrong Livestrong race this weekend. And he made it! In just 4 1/2 hours. I was very impressed. He has been practicing, but honestly there are not many hills here like there are in Dripping Springs, at least not in our neighborhood. He estimated that he would finish in 4 hours, and I have to say he came pretty darn close. He breaked at each station, to stretch his back, etc. I am so thankful he did this so that he could finish with flying colors. He still can't feel his pinky...but everything else came home a-okay.

Go Micah!

Cholesterol Checked

I go in the morning to have my cholesterol checked. Please pray that everything will be normal and that the doctor will have no concerns.
Thanks!

Things I Love About the Fall....

• Spiced Chai
• Molasses cookies
• Cooler weather
• Breezy weather
• Falling leaves
• Curling up on the couch with a book
• Cuddling with the children
• Christmas is coming!
• Friends
• Knitting
• Pork Chops with Plum Sauce...oh, yes.

I love these thoughts

http://www.daveramsey.com/etc/cms/you_fix_you_11043.htmlc

I Did It

I had my second procedure. And it's done and I'm back at home. Intense pain last night, but today I am good. Sore, but much, much better than last time. I actually emailed our small group during the procedure. Didn't have much to say, but I just thought it was cool that I was calm enough this time to do it. And I made myself ask for more pain killer time and time again. It was so hard for me. I realized I really wanted to grin and bare it so as not to disturb the doctor. Now, that's kind of messed up thinking.

I have 9 puncture sites this time. Unexpected, but I guess if he told me I would be pretty freaked out. I can't believe the vein that has caused me so much stinkin' grief for 12 years is gone! I am pretty excited about that. We celebrated afterward with a trip to Waterloo. The kids and I shared a hamburger and onion rings. It was nice to sit with them and talk and not worry about getting back for "school".

The freakiest part is that there were a series of blood clots in the vein from him closing off the upper vein. It had been causing me a lot of tenderness for the past month. He had to squeeze those out. Thankfully I was numbed though, so it didn't hurt. It just took a long time. There was no danger of them going anywhere because there was no vein for them to travel up to, but I thought it was pretty weird that my dad and I both had blood clots the same week! I feel so old! I still don't really get why he had to get them out if he was taking the vein out, too. He tried to explain, but you are either born with a medical brain or you're not.

The best part is that I only have to wear my compression stocking for 48 hours, so tomorrow afternoon I can take it off. Now, she did say I may not feel like taking them off. That leaves me suspicious. But oh well, I can be happy about it for now. And I'm still bleeding all over the place, so I really just don't see how this is going to work out. I can tell you this, after wearing them for one month straight (only for exercise the last two weeks) I was glad to shed them this past Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday mornings for my run. And no pain. I couldn't believe it. And yet....

In two weeks I have another appt. I was so hopeful that I was going to be done. Maybe we could pray that he will look at it and say nothing else has to be done. That would be awesome!

Port A

We had a wonderful trip to Port A this weekend. We visited Aransas National Wildlife Refuge, La Bahia Mission, and the History and Science Museum of CC. We had to skip the free art museum and the discounted rates at the Aquarium due to multiple stomach bugs. However, we had a great time. The beaches are so beautiful there, and Rebecca caught a live sand dollar! Everyone squealed with delight. How nerdy us homeschoolers can be! Some of the dads caught live fish, and the kids made a sand tank to observe them. We captured a dead squid from a seagull, and someone was stung by a jellyfish. Another dad found a whole, live starfish on the beach. We had quite an exciting time seeing first hand all the things we have been studying. The weather was perfect. Not too hot, and not a bit chilly until the sun was completely gone. Even then it was not cold at all, just nice and perfect. The sand there is so dreamy.

Sunday, we drove around and showed the kids the Lichtenstein store and his great grandfather's house from 1909 or something. It was wonderfully fun or at least would have been if I hadn't felt sick.

Highlights:
At the Wildlife Refuge after walking 1-1/4 miles COVERED in mosquitoes...Blaine says, "I'm tired of being in grass!" We saw about 14 alligators jump into a marsh, a wild pig, havalenas (don't know how to spell), roseate spoonbills, and many other various sea birds that I couldn't begin to identify. I just enjoyed them this time, didn't try to identify them.

This week

All, please pray for my dad. He has been back home for a few weeks and really starting to feel a lot better since last week around Thursday. A few days ago he realized he was having a lot of pain in his leg and his arm. He went to the emergency room and they only looked at his arm but released him giving him another antibiotic. Well, he is already on an antibiotic, so he didn't even have it filled. He went to his regular doctor yesterday, and they looked at his leg. He has a small blood clot in his leg, a 2 on a scale of 1-10. But of course, no blood clot is good. They put him on blood thinners. This was surprising to my mom because they said he should be just fine since he is so active and already on aspirin daily. This time he forgot to have them look at his arm. Could you all please pray for him? And for me? And for my mom? We all need peace. Here it is 4 am, and I cannot sleep.

"Which of you can add one hour to his life by worrying?"

My mom feels frustrated because she wants him to take responsibility and remember these questions he needs to ask the doctor, yet I know how it is to walk in there and forget to ask something major. Also, I am praying for her to be informed because she needs to know a certain amount of information to be able to take good care of him. Please pray for her because she is wearying of the daily task and the many things that keep coming up.

So many things trouble my mind. I was denied life insurance. Somehow that is so not comforting! They said my cholesterol levels were too low. Don't even think about googling that because it can scare you pretty bad, which is part of why I can't sleep. I have never had my cholesterol screened before and am just kicking myself because my midwife is always telling me to do it. Micah's dad thought perhaps I had it done with some blood work last year, but I remember I did not fast and I am pretty sure you have to fast to have this done.

Next, my next vein procedure is on Friday. I am calling it a procedure because it helps me have a lot more peace. "Surgery" is just too major of a word for me right now. But you know what happened last time I was scheduled for a procedure on Friday? My dad went into ICU that Thursday before. So, I am on pins and needles. Health should not be such a major concern for someone at my age. I feel I am doing so much to be healthy, yet I know I could do so much more. I have really focused this week on losing weight. Having a stomach virus has helped that considerably! But at any rate, I am just very aware of the need to take care of myself not only for now but for later.

Signing off.

5 Steps

For all of you wanting to know that's about as far as I made it Saturday morning. Sometime early morning I couldn't sleep for excitement at the possibility of something so exciting happening in just a few hours only two blocks away. Life had been so...ugly...so overwhelming depressing at times. With my dad in the hospital and this vein thing I was down in the dumps all week and STRESSED out. Then Micah stirred in bed, so I did the unthinkable and asked him what he thought. He's my gauge, you know. He said so awake-like, "Honey, that's crazy." So that was that. I knew I shouldn't do it. Going against his advice would be like jumping off a cliff. I did walk though. In fact I had to or I may have involuntarily drove to the fire station for the dern race. I thought the best thing to do would be to go as far away from the car as possible, so I headed out on my 3 mile circuit. I walked 3 miles and attempted to run. I only made it five steps. Boy, my husband is smart. It just pulled too much and didn't feel good. I didn't like that at all. The doctor's say you CAN run. They just fail to tell you that you won't feel like it!

I walked 4 miles Sunday, trying to convince myself that this could be just as good as running. And reminding myself that we are working up to something here. And Sunday night I had to get out again and do a little 2 mile walk. My body was just full of energy with nowhere for it to go! I tried to run a block, walked a little and ran another block. So since then I have run 1 1/2 miles at the most for a total of 4 miles this whole week. It's not a lot, but it's something. And honestly I kind of pay for it with a little more bruising when I get done. But I've just got to get it out of my system. I cannot explain it, but it's just surprisingly horrible to have to sit around and not do much. To see people running, and really want to participate.

So, for now I have decided to wait until all of this surgery stuff is over before I race. We need to save the money anyway and not spend it on races. We'll see if I'm still singing the same tune next weekend when the next town over is having their 5 miler. Oh, I want to do that one so bad! What is wrong with me?

5K tomorrow

I'm thinking of something crazy, and you all have about 9 hours to convince me otherwise... Tomorrow morning at 8am is our local 5K. You know what's on my mind... My doctor released me on Thursday (just two days after my surgery) to run as much as I want. Can you believe it? I thought he was crazy, personally. On Thursday I didn't feel like standing much less running! But this morning I could hardly sleep I was so antsy to get out and get my body moving. I ran 3 miles Tuesday morning before my surgery. I figured it was my last hurrah for 2 weeks. And now... I ran around the living room just to see. Just slow little jogs in place and then a little moving. Tuesday and Wednesday I could hardly make it around the block...walking! Okay it was more like scooting. But this morning I walked a mile-and-a-half and would have done more except I ran out of time. I wasn't super fast or anything, it was just a casual stroll. That's exponentially a huge difference in distance, and both took me the same amount of time! Maybe I could do this. And if I couldn't, well someone could just come rescue me, it's just 2 minutes up the road.

Micah is asleep and doesn't know I'm thinking about this. But my body is so wired b/c I'm not getting enough exercise. All my sores have scabbed over as of today, and for me that was a huge thing. I couldn't see running with stuff oozing out of me. I feel a good bit of discomfort and occasionally pain in my upper groin area. He said that could take a month or so to sort itself out and then he may have to go back in to that area. I just have a lot of varicosities, and there is nothing I can do about that. But I will say that I am excited about the possibility of having a normalish looking leg someday. I haven't had a normalish looking leg since I was 22! That is amazing. I told the doc that if my legs didn't look like the ladies in the picture of his brochure then I wanted my money back. He just laughed at me! Oh well. I tried.

The only other race I'm interested in is Skirt Chaser and the Corpus Christi half marathon. Skirt Chaser is too expensive for my blood. And I have just enough time to do a little training for the half marathon. I'd have to walk a good portion of it, but it would be so beautiful! We will be there that weekend anyway, so that is why I am considering it. I'd don't know how I'd shower b/c we aren't actually staying in the city. I'm still thinking on that one.

As Painless as Going to the Dentist

This is nothing compared to what Tammie is going through, but I thought I'd share my experience.
Microphlebectomy
This procedure is performed painlessly under local anesthesia. This is the preferred method for treating very superficial bulging veins of the saphenous system or its tributaries. It is very effective and safe. After the anesthesia is working, small punctures are placed over the vein and the vein is extracted with a tiny hook. No stitches are required. Some bruising may occur, but this usually resolves in a few weeks. Compression stockings area worn for 48 hours, and the patient may return to full activities immediately. When the local anesthesia wears off, most patients experience no pain whatsoever.

VNUS® Closure® is a clinically proven, minimally invasive procedure that treats varicose veins and their underlying cause, venous reflux, with little or no pain. Closure patients can walk away from the vein procedure and be back to everyday activities – either at home or at work – typically within a day. (Yeah, typical activities like walking and sleeping).

They also said it was as painless as going to the dentist. Yeah, right. I'm feeling much better today, just 3 days later. But let me tell you it is painful in case you wanted to know. And what they don't tell you is that they will wrap your leg in 3 aces bandages so wide you could use it as a swing. Your leg will resemble a mummy from toe to hip and it will be as large as the Michelin man. Your foot will become numb from the ace bandage, and you will wonder if the back of your knee is getting circulation. You'll wake up in the morning to find out that your leg is swollen and about to bust out of the bandages. It doesn't remember how to walk and upon removing the 3 blasted ace bandages and showering you'll discover you can't stand up either. Your leg will look like something from a horror movie, and you'll find a pile of bloody pads stacked up in your shower and wonder if anybody has really ever had this done before or were you just an experiment? If they knowingly did, they are crazy. At this point I just cried. Cried that I had this done to myself. What was I thinking? Before, at least all you could see was one thick blue line here and there. But now everything was purple and I had 6 or more punctures in my skin. And I have this lovely tattoo looking thing of what my vein looked liked. "It will fade in a couple of weeks." Yikes. When that is all over you have to hike your knee up to your face and squeeze your leg into a hose the size of a golf ball. Let me tell you, that's easy.

Yeah, I felt pain. I felt the stupid catheter being jabbed into my vein..my very painful varicose vein. I felt him take the catheter out, and I felt the tug when he removed one of the veins. I could also feel the blood oozing out of my veins. I tried not to think about that. I think he's really a mad scientist, you know looks nice and all in the daytime then he gets behind the curtain...

That's all the negative. Now the good stuff. I had no idea that he performed a phlebectomy. No idea. I felt the tug but honestly had no idea what it was. I had a hard time of it, but he told me later a lot of that had to to with my vein system. He said mine was unusually complicated. He said it didn't make the surgery any more complicated for him, it just meant I had a lot more bruising and a lot more entry points than most people. I think his nurse was way more queasy than I was. She freaked me out by biting her nails during the whole thing. That was a trip. All and all I really love my doctor and will use him again and again as he has been doing this for a long time. My leg looks horrible, but it is finally starting to feel great. I know the bruising will go away in a few weeks. We still have to work on the calf area, but I am going to wait a month to heal up and get over this one. See...they have me brainwashed, too. It's just like going to the dentist. Not!

Vein Surgery

Seems I only post when really major things are going on. I'll never catch up with everyone's blogs, so if anything major has happened in your life you're going to have to tell me. I have talked to Tammie, so I at least know what's going on in her neck of the woods. Please continue to pray for her as her throat sounds very raspy, and I know she has got to be tired.

I'm having vein surgery on Friday, September 19, and I would greatly appreciate everyone's prayers for that. It will be 2 hours long and will be followed by 2 other surgeries each 1-1/2 to 2 hours long. They claim I will drive myself home and resume my normal lifestyle after each one. We'll see about that. This surgery is to remove several vericose veins that have bothered me for 12 years. I received them at the beginning of my pregnancy with Elizabeth, and they have steadily worsened with each pregnancy. Because I will be having surgery this week and next I will not be running my 5k here in my hometown. At least I hadn't already paid for it. Bummed? Yes. Very. But excited about getting rid of varicose veins? Very! I could have chosen to wait until after the race, but honestly I cannot run 3 miles without having a lot of pain. I have been able to run 2 without any problems and have steadily been adding to that. So, even though I have to give up the race, it is the race that God has used to get me to this point. And hopefully after all of this is over I will be able to run much, much further without suffering afterwards. And the biggest reason of all is that I just want to get this over with!

I realized I had a problem when I went on a 6 mile walk with my dad. I walk 4 miles every weekend, and I also was running 4 miles every weekend. The weekend before I had run 5. So this really shouldn't have been a big deal. But it was kind of slow and took 2-1/2 hours. The next day I ran my regular 3 miles. My leg hurt all day. It really freaked me out. I went to the doctor that Friday and on the following Monday I met with the vein surgeon he recommended. He is out in Westlake with fancy marble and granite to boot. I've never even been to a wedding as fancy as his office. He showed me pictures and answered my 105 questions. And then I came home to denial, "I don't really need surgery. My veins are fine. So I have to prop them up every day, sleep on pillows at night, and I can't do housework half the time. I'm fine. Really." My dad prayed for me and sometime that night I began researching and digging. Afterwards I had such peace and scheduled the appt the next day.

They will send a catheter up my vein using radio waves and then slowly pull the catheter down and out to close the vein. For my upper thigh they will actually have to put some foam stuff in one of the veins to close it off from another branch. Prayer is that I stay active that day to keep the foam where it needs to be and to be flushed from the places we don't want it. That is Friday's surgery. At some point they will actually remove the vein from the calf. Fun.

This has been a huge praise as my insurance is fully covering the surgery, something most insurance companies do not do. Many consider it to be cosmetic only, even if the patient is experiencing an extreme amount of pain and discomfort. I will be so thankful and prayerful to return to a normal way of life, whatever that is. Honestly, I don't know what normal is for my age because I have had this for so long.

So, please pray that God would guide the surgeon's hands, that all would go well, that I would heal, that I would be calm and occupied during the surgery, and that these veins would not come back (they shouldn't unless we have another baby). I also need prayer for childcare during these surgeries. They are during the school day, so it is hard to find friends that can give that kind of time. He has trained under Dr. DeBakey in Houston and is a very experienced surgeon of over 20 years. And just the fact that my doctor who I trust very much recommended him means a lot to me.

Fully Spent

Things have been crazy around here. Trying to get ready for school has me in this almost bizarre state. The past 3 weeks I have written at least 40 co-op lesson plans for 5 different grade levels (that's real easy), planned & organized a supply list for 51 children of over $500 worth of art supplies, spent hours talking to other moms about them joining co-op (and figuring out how we could possibly squeeze in just ONE MORE family), and helped with a million other details regarding schedule, classrooms, etc. I have met with the pastor, met with the coordinator, and moderated about a bazillion emails. My brain is still spinning and somewhere in all of that we planned, organized, and started our own school & cleaning schedule on the 15th. Prior to that, every day was filled with what only God can remember. I feel like my brain has been crunched a million times. "Are we having fun yet?" keeps ringing in my mind.

We have attended countless birthday parties this month. The kids had two today. I really lost count. Praise the Lord sometime in the spring I had purchased about $100 worth of gifts for only $20. Still they have not all been appropriate, so we have spent countless hours at the mall or where ever purchasing Webkinz.

Between co-op, school, pre-marital counseling, small group, budgeting, and running I am spent. And I feel like the worst daughter ever. I haven't seen my parents at all since the beginning of summer. I haven't even seen any family since then. I feel out of touch...not right somehow. And I keep messing up. Everything I do feels like a mess up. It's one of those times in your life when you feel like you can never do anything right. I feel stressed and just want to relax. I cannot possibly juggle all of these balls I have picked up. And I so desperately want to open the acrobat trunk, drop the balls in, and walk away. And then I hear God say, "Don't lose heart. Take My yoke upon you for My burden is easy; My burden is light." If I could just figure out how to unstrap the one I'm carrying around.

Do you know I've had a library book OVERDUE for over a month. OVERDUE. That means I've had it for 6 weeks! I might as well buy the stupid thing.

One Word Answers

One Word Answers
1. Where is your cell phone? purse
2. Your significant other? work
3. Your hair? wet
4. Your Skin? warm
5. Your mother? sweet
6. Your Favorite Thing? beach
7. Your dream last night? stressful
8. Your favorite drink? dr. pepper
9. Your dream/goal? 5K
10. The room you’re in? study
11. Your ex? frightening
12. Your fear? loss
13. where do you want to be in six years? healthy
14. Where were you last night? bunko
15. What you’re not? organized
16. Muffins? bran
17. One of your wish list items? ipod
18. Where you grew up? houston
19. The last thing you did? breakfast
20. What are you wearing? tank
21. Your TV? off
22. Your pet(s)? everywhere
23. Your computer? fun
24. Your life? busy
25. Your mood? happy
26. Missing someone? micah
27. Your car? dirty
29. Favorite Store? bookstore
30. Your summer? busy
31. Like someone? yes
32. Your favorite color? pink!
33. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
34. Last time you cried? lice
35. Who will/would re-post this? family
36. Whose Answers are you anxious to see? anyone. :)

Great news. Today I totally and completely forgot about lice. I had an amazing quiet time with my Lord: thus the post below! And after that we went to Ross, TJ Maxx, and the mall until 5:30. We ate pretzels and coke and Panda Express. Elizabeth tried on clothes, Rebecca and Blaine played with toys. And I had fun. I spent every waking moment on the kids. We did everything for them, and it was marvelous. I gave each of them $10 to spend for no reason at all, and they spent it or at least most of it. We found toys on clearance for 99 cents at the Disney Store, and we bought random things that we did not need but only something we wanted. I purchased two books on clearance that look to be excellent. One for me and one for Micah. We smelled candles at Yankee Candle Co. while it poured sheets of rain outside and scoured our favorite stores for deals. It was a glorious day!

Then we came home I did the dishes, washed r's sheets, and made dinner. Tuesday we received in the mail this wonderful natural lice remover kit. Friends of mine have raved about it as well as reviews on the Internet. It is pricey at $57, but worth it if it works.

Well they have this nit dissolver stuff that dissolves the glue that holds the nit to the hair. so I thought yesterday I'd go ahead and try it for insurance purposes. Remember, I found no nits on the comb Monday and Tuesday! Well, immediately I was pulling out nits left and right; at least 10 in all. These were not visible to my eye or the light; I was impressed. Not nervous though that another lice had laid any eggs. These were too developed, and believe me no lice has a chance of survival in this house. We have all become commando. Plus they were all over her head, not concentrated in one area. So that goes to show that the glue dissolver and the comb are amazing, and it has no harsh chemicals to top it off. The pesticide stuff freaks me out.

I just sprayed her hair again tonight with the nit glue dissolver and picked her hair again with the terminator looking comb (I've never seen the movie, but I thought it sounded like a good analogy), and I found no nits. I can't even put an exclamation mark there; I am so tired. But I am glad and relieved. I am super confidant that if we didn't get every nit this time we came pretty darn close and as close as close can get. I spent well over an hour yesterday and today combing out every strand of hair. I cut her hair the first day of lice, so it is pretty short and doesn't take as much time. What am I saying??? I've become immune. It will feel so weird to comb her hair in only 1 minute now.

So the next question...when do I give up? Should I comb her hair again with the nit comb or just leave well enough alone?

I Desire

The one thing I desire is just to know You better.

To live a life that lives and breaths just to bring You joy!

Fill me with a fire that burns away my doubts and all my fears.

Into a place where You are all I hear.

It's the one thing I desire.

To do what You require.

It has been a difficult week with many downs, too many to count, and only a few ups. Too few. Two or three to be exact. Lice has made it difficult for me to be nice or peaceful. The stress has caused me to grind my teeth at night to the point where I can no longer bit down or chew food. My teeth don't line up. After doc appt feeling some relief today. But I still feel disappointment at the core of my being. Disappointment that I couldn't live and walk by the Spirit through all of this. I know that eventually God will rid us of the lice. In a matter of time. I suppose my issue is the timing. I want them gone. NOW. Not yesterday or tomorrow. NOW. TODAY. But it just can't be. And the thought of...

I am not alone. You give me strength. You walk beside me.

....picking hair makes me sick and weak.

You're here in my heart.
You're the Light that guides me through the dark.
You walk beside me
When night seems cold
Each time I fall Your arms are there to hold
You walk beside me
Give me strength I've never known
And I am not alone

I talk to You and all my fears unwind
You make me want to do the best that I can
You walk beside.
And I am not alone.
...
I rely on Your patience when life brings the unknown.

*You'll need to click "pause" on the player on the bottom of my blog in order to only hear one song at a time.*

http://www.imeem.com/yenz/music/mAT2drJN/i_desire/

http://www.imeem.com/imyourgenie/music/nDQB_Lr-/natalie_grant_i_am_not_alone/
That says it all.

(All lyrics by Natalie Grant from her Deeper Life album)

Last night the kids and I were watching National Treasure 2. The girls were very interested in it, but Blaine was in and out. Towards the end when they are on top of Mount Rushmore and starting to sprinkle the water...he starts to pay attention.

"Why are they going hiking with the bad guy???!!!"

I rolled. Then I had to cover it up so he wouldn't think I was laughing at him. "You are so cool, Blaine, you say the best things."

He liked that, so we had to hear it again and again.

Hope is in the air

Would you believe I just combed through 1/4 of rebecca's hair, and I found no visible nits? Now it was only 1/4 of her hair, but I feel encouraged. Let's just hope their aren't any that I can't see.

Copy Cat

Okay, call me a copy cat, but I love Jenny's idea of a running log. OR at least I think I do. I've never done it before, so it'll be here or on paper. As she said I don't expect anyone to look at it, but it's a great way to keep track of whatever little progress I make. And besides I couldn't pass up the background. My main goal is a 5K, nothing big, and I just want to run the whole way. That is longer than I've ever run in my life. No comparing me to her 'cause she's already whipped my booty. And I expect it'll stay that way.

Yesterday I was in my room getting dressed, and I hear Blaine.
"Mommmmmyyyy!!!! Mommmmmyyyyyy!!!! Where are you???"
"I'm in here! In my room!" He doesn't hear me...
"Mommmmyyyy, where are you???? Oh, MOMMY, now you're lost!"

Going around

When I went to purchase 4 more bottles of lice shampoo last night there were two other moms stocking up. It must be going around. HEB and Walgreen's were almost out. I've found out that Rosemary is good to keep them away. So when you see me next time I'll have a rosemary bush in my head...

I'm pretty sure she got it from the library. I have this panicked snapshot in my mind of her sitting at a little table with two other kids, head to head. It was one of those bead mazes. I remember thinking, "You've been homeschooling too long. She's fine. There's no need to be alarmed." Must have just been a mommy radar. She says she remembers her head started itching shortly after that. That's what we get for reading!

I haven't run for 3 days. Worse than Jenny's two days. It's the first time since I've started working on the 5K that I haven't run (other than the first week of just walking). The first day after lice I thought I'd just walk. I was so tired it took me 30 minutes to walk around the block. How's that for time per mile? It normally is about a 10 minute walk. I bet not many can beat that! I got new running shoes in the mail yesterday, so maybe I will have more energy to run in the morning. This week I have been sleeping until 8 and 8:30. I have finally worked up to 10 minutes of running again. Not much compared to Jenny's 30, but I also have at least 4o more pounds to lug around than she does! I'm also trying to cover more ground in those minutes, so it's a little more slow going. And some days it is just so darn hot. I am a little sad because this week I was going to work up to 14 minutes. That would have put me to almost halfway done. Obviously that won't be happening seeing as it's Friday. Pooh!

And I absolutely don't want to buy one more thing for those blasted bugs!

More than you bargained for

As I'm vacuuming my home for the 2nd or 3rd time my eye catches the piles of large plastic bags piled in the hallways. Instantly I'm reminded of another time, just 6 years ago...
We were building our new house, and thankfully our house sold pretty quickly. Just 5 months, leaving our new home a few months leeway. We gratefully found a rental home for just $500 a month. Only needing to be there for two months we decided to store all of our belongings. Mr. Carey already had the place decked out in garage sales finest. I'll have to admit it was hard for me to even sit on the couch. I love garage sale finds, but this couches burnt orange tufts made it look as if it were from 1912. It smelled awful to top things off.

Having packed up every toy except a few baby necessities and the girls' dollhouse we moved in to our fun georgetown two bedroom. Rebecca had a birthday the day of our move so we happily brought along a few new goodies to tinker with. Shortly after moving in (I think the same week) we decided to watch Finding Nemo at a local theater. 10 days later we discovered Elizabeth had lice. It took me a while to figure it out: the lice was from the theater. I was so sad as this meant I could not see my very dear friend who lived within walking distance!

The lice stayed on for a while. We could not get rid of them, and for a while I blamed that blasted couch! But I knew it wasn't the couch. Two months went by. We stayed home. We combed hair. We cleaned. We fumigated. We vacuumed. We found things to do at home.

I've often looked back at that time at Mr. Carey's as being a very carefree time. I could easily see that less stuff, a more simple life, and no mortgage gave for a carefree attitude. If something broke, we called the landlord. With fewer toys, pick-up was easy. One bathroom made for easy chore time. But vacuuming today brought me a new perspective. Not only were we down to bare bone necessities, we packed most of those things up to get rid of the lice. Every pillow, some blankets I didn't want to wash, and every stuffed animal were put away for two months. And we learned that we could do without. It's interesting to me that 6 years later at a time in our lives when we are trying to cut back, to do without new material things the very same thing would happen. I was thrilled to vacuum a room with hardly anything in it. It was so easy! So carefree!!! Not much to worry about. So it's funny that in a time like this when getting rid of lice is really hard I'd have this funny feeling in my heart of joy. Joy that for a little while things in some ways will be simpler.

Now to get rid of the stupid lice!

For just another moment I am pretending I have nothing to do.

We still have lice. I cannot believe it. Please pray for us if you read this blog. Please. I have already treated her hair twice and combed through it for over 5 hours. I have washed everything. And I found more live lice in her hair this morning....I hate these bugers and feel like we'll never get through it. But I know we will. We just may not see anyone or go anywhere else for the rest of the summer. I feel like crying. She's had it for at least 10 days, but 10 days ago we didn't go anywhere that gives me any hint of where she picked them up. Please pray that elizabeth and I don't get them.

For just one minute I am pretending I have nothing to do.

I fell asleep on the couch last night at 9:15....I woke up this morning at 6:30 on my bed. Don't remember anything in between.

I have picked lice for 3 hours. I have washed everything in site and bagged everything else. I have vacuumed every surface. And now I get to do it again today. But I praise the Lord that so far I haven't found anything on elizabeth's head. I cannot tell you how happy that makes me. I think that alone will help me to keep going.

Rebecca has lice. UGH.

This weekend I attended a home school conference with various friends. I convinced Micah it would be best for me to go two days. I really didn't need to buy that much and had a very small budget of $30. But I knew I wanted to hear at least two workshops, browse leisurely, and be free to talk to whoever I wanted and for however long. Last year I had only one day. It was horrible to see someone and scoot on with only a nod. I left that weekend feeling like I didn't make the best of it. I saw so many of my wonderful friends and chatted my head off. It was great. We went to this great Argentinian restaurant in downtown A. We had chocolate creme broulle with peppers. Wow. That's all I can say. Gotta try it.

I heard so many great talks. So many. One wonderful man named Andrew Pudewa (if only you could hear the sound of his name it would make you feel so much better to say his name over and over) spoke about teaching writing. It was beyond fabulous!!! The best since Chris Davis. Oh, I miss his talks. I cannot contain all that I learned in my wee little brain. I love home schooling. I feel like I'm going to school again and learning so much more this time.

I heard this lady speak on neurological deficiencies. It about scared me to death. Not only do I have issues but a few of our children might as well. Oh well. What would life be without neurological deficiencies??? I mean, really.

Summer

You know what reminds me of my Granny? Drinking a Dr. Pepper in the summer at night. I don't know why. Maybe because she would have the window unit blowing in the summer, and at night is the only time in our house it feels like that. Funny how things so simple can take you back. I miss you, Granny.

Family and 5K

It was wonderful to see family this weekend. I have missed everyone so much, but we really need to see each other more often. At least we can keep up in blogs, but I don't think it's enough. Jenny has inspired me to do something I have wanted to do for a long time. I have always wanted to run a 5K, so I think I will. Micah is pretty excited about doing it, too. We'll run different races, but I think it will be fun.

Movie Fav's

My all time favorite movie is......(drumroll please)....

1. The Wedding Date-Oh my gosh, the best! You have to fastforward some.
And others on the list:
2. Runaway Bride
3. The Wedding Planner
4. Braveheart
5. Facing the Giants

Advisors

And the main thing I've learned is NEVER trust a financial advisor or an insurance agent. You need to read up and do the research for yourself. If they try to sell you something you don't believe in, get up and walk out. That sounds silly because obviously Dave Ramsey is a financial advisor, but we are not giving him money to invest for us. He also likes Clark Howard, but the two have different giftings. Good to listen to both.

VBS

The kids are in VBS, my art lesson was canceled this morning, and I actually have a few moments to myself. That hasn't happened in 11 years. Well, that's not true. But anyway, it's rare that I get the house to myself.

Rebecca's heel is injured and I have to take her to a podiatrist. Fun.

Elizabeth hit her elbow last week while swimming at my moms. I seriously thought her elbow was sticking out the side of her arm. It wasn't. Thank the Lord! Just a bump of fluid. gross.

Blaine cut his finger on a swiss army knife. What a week!

I officially have 8 students signed up to teach art. It's not a ton of money, but it's a little and it gives me something constructive to do with my time. You mean I can't read blogs all day?

Flywheel is on sale at Wal-mart for $9. It's $20 at the Christian bookstore. We haven't watched it yet.

We downgraded our tv package from a whopping $72 a month to $29. I was so proud of my husband!

And may I just say that I highly recommend to everyone that is ever born to take a Dave Ramsey course at least once in their life and the younger the better? And once you sign up, you can take the class as many times as you want forever for free. You may not believe or like everything he says, but it is so simple...so down to earth. And though it is hard to believe his numbers he and many of the people he has taught are walking testimonies. One man explained that he made 40k a year, and for his whole life he invested 10 or 15% (I don't remember) for retirement. He has now retired a millionaire. That's amazing. A little discipline really pays off.

Dave explains how every different type of investments works, which ones are good and which ones are bad. We've realized the two investments we've made haven't been the best. Wow! That is why we don't have much saved up for college or retirement even though we've been working on both for 12 years! We are so pumped to finally understand these things for ourselves instead of having to trust someone else. His motto, "If you don't understand it, you shouldn't invest in it." So we've come to the realization that probably no matter what we do we will not have all of the money for any of our children's college, except possibly for Blaine. That was a little sad feeling, but a little sweat never hurt anybody. They can work and get scholarships.

We have dear friends of ours who have been missionaries for 25 years. They are taking the course with us. While they have been adhering to all of his principles for their life and have never gone into debt they have only saved a little for retirement. They never factored that into their support costs. They are in their late 40's and now realizing they should have done a lot more. They are pretty sure they will have to continue working to make ends meet all through old age. They wish they had heard these principles when they were young. It was a great eye opener for me that we need to get busy, busy, busy; don't delay!!!

New link

I have added a new link. This lady is an art teacher at a local private school and works with one of my friends. Can you believe she jut picked up pastels recently? This is truly the most amazing art I have ever seen.

Sadness and Spunk

I have just spent two hours crying over that dumb movie Steel Magnolias. Why do I watch that sad movie? Now I can't go to sleep. I'm up thinking about how much I love my family and don't ever want anything bad to happen to them. It's Friday night, I'm supposed to be asleep.

I just have to tell you all how very much God has blessed me again this week. A new mom has been added to our co-op who will take over one of the art classes. And let me tell you she is a complete God-send. At our first meeting she whipped out a list of fun art projects that related to Texas History, which the kids will be learning simultaneously in co-op. I was astounded. I am horrible at those fun idea art projects. I'm better with the skill stuff. I feel ALMOST guilty because I've hardly lifted a finger to do anything for next year. But you know, I have carried this art program for two years, and I am so glad to see God put some spunk in it.

More Good News

We got the call from Honda Monday that our van is done. It only took them one day. Why is it that when you NEED them to fix your car it takes them two weeks, but when you NEED them to take a week it only takes one day? Funny. We were glad to hear that the total bill will only be $630 instead of the projected $700-$800. We were so relieved. God is so good. This is a lot easier to squeeze out of our budget than what we thought. The total bill went from $4000 to $630!!!

BTW, another God thing. Micah had to get a crown a few weeks ago for almost $600. We were able to get the bill and turn it in just one day before the cut-off to get our medical savings reimbursement by this Friday. We will be able to use the money for the van and pay the dentist back in payments or wait for our extra paycheck. We had no idea that it would work out this way, and we are so thankful to God for His wisdom in working these things out.

And the best part of it all is that none of this had to go on a credit card! In past years we would have prayed but without batting an eye would have put the entire $4000 on the card. Look how God provided when we trusted and waited on Him instead. The trusting part was a little rocky, but you know what I mean.

I love art lessons

I can say that because I have had a full 24 hours of preparing for them, and they are now over. Whew. I made it. I'll have more on Monday and Tuesday, but at least I get a little breather in between. I am feeling so stretched. Do you know how difficult it can be to try to explain to someone how to do something? This is keeping me sharp. And I have to be so organized. Houston, we could have a problem.

Anyway, I had a blast and earned a little cash. Okay, so Micah earns that in 30 minutes or something, but I tried. I did the best I could. That's what counts.

Good week

As mom asked, yes, I am having a good week. It's going to be a challenging week. I have 6 new art students to plan for. Yowee. I wonder if I have it in me, or will everyone ask for a refund? I love Jenny's blog because it encourages me to go for it and not worry about the outcome. But still, I wonder....

Rebecca's party is tonight. Oh boy. Well, at least it's just 3 families. And two of them I know really well. So even if I don't mop the kitchen, they will still love me. Yeah. :) Look at your calendars. It's the Queen's birthday.

We spent the ENTIRE weekend cleaning and rearranging the upstairs bedrooms. We threw away 5 trash bags of paper and boxes. I still can't believe that. I knew it was messy, but my goodness. We also have about 10 bags of things to sell at a garage sell or give away. That's overwhelming. Our garage is stuffed. It did make me feel better though to get it all cleaned up. I am always telling everyone in our house that I can't possibly clean the whole thing by myself or keep up with everything. I think them spending the entire weekend on it (we even skipped church) helped them realize that I really can't do it all. So now the girls have their own room. I have resisted the change for about 2 years, but I finally buckled under all the pressure. We gave the large, four poster bed to rebecca (so that guests still have a place to sleep) along with the dressing table that mom and jenny used. She is very excited about it. She took Blaine's room, which will need to be primed and painted light blue. Blaine took the old study, we took down Rebecca's twin bed, and we moved all the home school and office stuff to the game room and all the toys out. Whew. EVERYTHING was upturned. everything. Not one square inch of the upstairs went untouched. The most frustrating thing was that we couldn't finish this or that room until this or that from this or that closet was moved. I still can't believe we did it, and now I know why I resisted it for 2 years. I think Micah does, too. Maybe everyone finally understands what I have to do everyday. I doubt it.

And just so everyone knows, having a large house is not all its cracked up to be. It is very difficult to keep uncluttered. You definitely have more space, but you definitely have more SPACE. More space to mess up. I say this because I have realized over the past 5 years of living here that many people wished they had a bigger house, or they think they haven't measured up to the rest of Americana if they don't have a large house. With a large house comes a large payment and a large utility bill. So, if you're ever tempted to get a larger house than the one you have, just remember that. I can say that even to myself because no matter what house you have you always wish you had a different one or that even this one little thing were different. You know why? Because this isn't our real home. Our home in heaven will be just perfect. It has taken God 2000 years to make it. It only took him 6 days to make earth. Can you imagine how lovely it will be??? And it will have NO PAPERS to throw away. Now, that's the best part.

ART LESSONS

I did it. I decided to invite others to take art lessons from me. It was so hard to click that SEND button, but I did. And within 10 seconds a friend called telling me she wanted her kids to take lessons, and then within 1 minute an email came. And then later today another email came. So...that is exciting. I'm a little nervous about how this will all pan out with my schedule. I don't want to overload myself. I double checked my prices just before sending the email. A nearby art school charges $35 for 3 hours for a group of 12. I'm charging $9 for half the time, and the groups will be much smaller. I feel that's reasonable. So.....here we gooooo!!!

GOOD NEWS!!!

I just wanted to give everyone the good news that Honda is paying for our transmission to be replaced!!! They haven't told us how much we will have to pay to have them install it. They said it would be a discounted rate. I am paying it will cost us nothing. Why not ask? Thank you, everyone, for praying! Praise God for all the good things He does for us.

Party Plates

Rebecca decided to have her birthday party next Monday night. She's been telling me for months that she wants her birthday party to be on the Queen's Birthday (New Zealand). I half heartedly listened but honestly was probably totally focused on something else. You know, that always come back to bite.
I hadn't purchased or even looked for her party plates and invites. You know what that means....Party City didn't have the prized Littlest Pet Shop theme. I was on hold at Wal-Mart and HEB too long to make it worth the call. I looked online, and to get them here in time I would have to pay $13 in shipping for $10 worth of merchandise. So we decided we would decorate the plates ourselves, which really translates that I would decorate the plates. We went to Wal-Mart on a whim because I needed to buy fruit and other groceries. Well, of course you will believe this, but they had Littlest Pet Shop party supplies! I was so excited. And Wal-Mart is so much cheaper than even Party City. In fact a few years ago I made a declaration that all party supplies would be purchased at Wal-Mart. Well, I'm glad I stick to my guns. :)

Good and Faithful Servant

What has inspired all this money talk? We've realized for a long time that we haven't been faithful with what God has given us; however, we never knew what to do differently, to truly change. We'd try to reverse our priorities, but everything would fall apart. We'd wonder, what are we doing wrong??? Not that we ever lacked or didn't have enough. For me the wake-up call: over half a million dollars has gone through our hands, and we don't have much to show for it. With all the wonderful financial tools out there surely we could have invested our money in a better way.

However much or little we are given should be used wisely to further God's kingdom. If you are given much but don't use it wisely, you end with not very much. Then you can't give very much and your heart feels like it will explode from sadness. Few people believe in giving everything away and then living off the very little that is left. I am completely awed by that. George Mueller believed and lived in this manner. But I am not there. Some people believe in giving some away, saving quite a bit, and then living off the rest. I want to be there. Many people don't realize that if they were to invest just a little every month they could have a large sum at the end of their life. What can be done in God's kingdom with that? To me, that is doing what the man with the talents did in the Bible. God does want us to give, and He wants us to give hilariously. He doesn't just want us sitting on our money afraid to give or afraid to invest. But we also shouldn't foolishly pass by a great opportunity to plant something and wait for it to grow.

I have eternal life based on compound interest, but I haven't understood the same principal based on money. I have forgotten that earthly matters often reflect spiritual ones. Doesn't our salvation stem from compound interest? Doesn't grace? You just have to have a little faith (like a mustard seed) and before you know it you're living in God's Kingdom. It's an amazing reality. As one of our pastor's said this weekend, a little faith had Peter walking on water. A little seed produces a tree full of apples. And through one man, Abraham, an entire nation was born. A little muscle burns a lot more calories. And a little money in a good mutual fund can make a million.

Most Americans think they should spend all they can and save if there is something left over and give what is left from that. We used to be there. We don't want to go back there ever again. It's not fun.

I don't think God is mad at anyone who gives all their money away and never invests it, but I also don't think He's mad at those who give some, invest some, and then at the end of their life have a couple million to give away. Doesn't it all stem from faith? Faith that we are doing what God has called us to do. And as long as we have an attitude of servant giving, our money will be in the right place.

Most importantly I must remember that there is more than money to be given away. Not having much money to give has taught me this. Time is more precious than money. Talent is heavier than coins. Serving is more profitable than compound interest. Comforting words are more soothing than the flow of currency. A precious possession is more meaningful than a present from the store. Money is not the only way to give. Usually we think green first. We give our dollar for relief but we never go help.

Certainly there is a place for money. Certainly there is a time to give. Jesus said to do both.
Jesus said, "Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." I want to leave a legacy for my children. I want to have more to give away at the end of my life than at the beginning. I don't want to burden my children with expensive nursing home bills. In these years when I am young I want my doing to outweigh my giving and when I am old and can't do much I want to give God what's in the bank. Maybe that will teach the next generation watching that they can do the same.

New blog

I know I'm blogging a lot, but I have a lot on my mind. In case you're interested I started a new "health blog". The link is to the right, or you can just stick to this one.

Summer

Don't you just love this time of year?
Swimming in the lake, swimming in the pool. Time off from everything you have to do the rest of the year.
Vacation.
That's a nice word, too.
I miss family. I wish gas prices weren't so high. I wish we could be with family every weekend.

Our Van

Our van is very sick. Have I already said that? It needs a rebuilt transmission. That's sure not cheap. What's funny is that we have been praying about whether or not we should sell it. It would cut our debt in half if we did. I have been completely fine with doing that, but we have hesitated only to pray longer. Having two cars is pretty much a necessity even for homeschoolers. The total price of the repairs are $4000! Yep. Don't have it, and even if we did I don't know that we would pay it. Boy, this year has taught us the importance of an emergency fund.
You see the transmission was replaced by the previous owners at 40K miles just before we purchased it. It was a factory recall. I remember very vividly when we first took it in to the dealership they checked the records on the van and said yes that it had been replaced by the factory. So...just 40K miles and one year later it is out again??? Something fishy to me with this Honda thing. Micah called the Honda dealership and told them how very unhappy he was with the product. He was very frank and said that we would probably sell the car and never buy a Honda again. He threw around the word Toyota I'm sure-we really like those. Anyway, to our surprise they said they would send our claim in and they might pay for part or all of the repair. So, if you read this blog, would you please pray for us? We really don't want to pay for ANY of the repair. It would really throw us off the paying off debt track. Please, please, please, Lord! I know you know what's best, so we will trust You with that. The car belongs to you anyway!

A Beautiful Word

Things are going better today. We got through Tuesday when I felt like I could never purchase anything again to today. Payday. Such a beautiful word. So much hope comes in that word. Like...I will be able to buy groceries. We can pay for our house. We can pay for our car. Very nice word.

I have been teaching art to three sisters. They are so cute. They come over every other Wednesday and we have a marvelous time. The kids don't like having to give up that time with me, but I have found that it is such a refreshing moment for me. I absolutely love teaching people how to draw, to shade, to really see what they are looking at. I get jazzed just thinking about it. I have contemplated taking on more students for the summer, but I don't know. Becca has the hardest time with it. She gets to watch a movie, so I don't know why she is so against it. To her my time belongs to her. She's so cute. And the best part...I get a check and 3 hours of free babysitting. What a deal.

Frustrated

I'm frustrated that seemingly good things can take so long. Have you ever noticed how long it takes a flower to bloom? Or a tomato plant to grow a tomato? Or a child to stop throwing tantrums? And before you know it the flower is wilted, the tomato is picked and eaten, or the child is grown and married. That is how I feel. Sad. Today I'm just sad.

Lord, help me to live today for you. Not worrying about what tomorrow will bring. Help me not worry whether we will meet this or that goal. Help me not miss the many days you've already given me just waiting for "the day when...". Help me to see YOU.

Ballet Performance

Elizabeth had her ballet performance yesterday. I cried like a baby. I cried like a new mom. I cried like a mother watching her little girl grow into a young lady. I cried, and I smiled, and cried, and smiled, and laughed. It was so beautiful. So poetic. She and 8 other classmates performed to "Rejoissance" in beautiful, lavender flowy gowns. They had lavender flowers in their hair, and flowers on their gowns. It could have been in a wedding. It was so inspiring. And then the last song that they performed (she was not in it) was a worship dance with 10 girls. It was so powerful as they completely filled the stage and many poured out their hearts in genuine worship. It was amazing.

Her teacher gave an invitation at the end for everyone to give their heart to the Lord. Gary and Ginger were there. We were praying for them.

Nothing on my mind

Nothing of importance is on my mind today. It's just a fun day with not much work. Everything has wound down for the year. Tonight is the last night of ballet. We will continue with school, but that shouldn't take much of our day during the summer. There will be days we skip it, but for the most part we will keep plugging away. Can't forget 7 x 5! We must! We must!

I am so looking forward to the family get together. I can't wait to see our family. I miss everyone so much. Our van is sick, and we have to decide if we want the Honda dealership to fix it ($$$$$, but they would do it right the first time) or Billy Bob that works out of his garage to fix it. His name's not really Billy Bob, but you know what I mean!

Many congrats to Amber and Jerry!!!! I can't wait to meet Hayden. He is so scrumptiously cute!!!!!!! I love that hat!!!

Who

Who's I'm a dreamer? Gina? Sorry I don't know.

Fonts...Seriously

Seriously...How do all of you make your fonts look so nice??? I really want to know this because it bothers me that mine looks so jagged. Ya'lls all look smooth. Help!

I'm a junky

I finally have a minute to check blogs. I have officially spent almost 3 hours catching up on everyone's blogs. I still have more work to do, but I've at least made some headway. I read Jenny's stories forever.

Our life has been busy lately with budgeting. We are taking a Financial Planning class from Dave Ramsey. It has been so wonderful for our marriage! For the first time we are on the same page of the same book. I'm a little scared to say, so as not to jinx it, that we have prepared a budget together and been following it for the first time ever. Scary, huh? The whole thing started one day in the grocery store. I was writing a check, and then the thought occured to me, what if we don't have the money to cover this? I don't remember why I was worried about it at that exact moment, but I do know that I felt completely clueless about our finances. We have tried for 12 years to do a "budget" but always failed miserably. We have tried about 5 different methods, so you can see that we truly have tried. Nonetheless it never worked because we always had different goals.

Later that day when I came home Micah miraculously asked me if I would help him again with the budget. I saw this as nothing less than God's direction. Twice in one day??? Had to be HIM. I agree but was extremely afraid. In the past I have been EXTREMELY controlling of the budget. I know that IS SO HARD to believe. :) But it is true. I expressed that to him, but he still wanted my help. I prepared a budget. We asked our small group friends to pray for us. They did. Some of those same friends started a Dave Ramsey class. We ignored it thinking another budgeting siminar couldn't possibly help us. We kept asking them to pray for us. They did. We googled budgeting software. Dave Ramsey. Hmmm...Total Money Makeover...Hmmm...We watched a clip of one of his classes....Hmmm....He came on TV....Hmmm...Our friends invited us to their class....We were trying desperately to follow the budget we had prepared, but went "-" in every category....We got desperate...Well, you can see what happenend.

So, May is our first official Dave Ramsey "cash flow" month. I am saying this to ask everyone who reads this to say a prayer for us. We really need it. I have been amazed at what God has enabled us to do. Micah has taken his lunch to work now more than he eats out. I am so proud of him. I spend a lot of money on milk. It's the one pure, whole food we eat. (We drink RAW milk for those that don't know-we're weird). He only charges $6.50 a gallon, but you know it adds up. At any rate, other than milk, eggs, and beef I have been spending $67 a week on groceries. That is a miracle. I told the kids that before DR there was a week I spent $200 on the same items. Wow! It is so easy to "justify" junk food purchases when you have kids.

Anyway, our goals are to pay off debt, and get an emergency savings built up. Eventually there will be other goals, but for now that is overwhelming. I think the biggest difference between this class and others we have attended is that he really gets to the heart issue of the money. He addresses that first, and the cash flow plan (it's not a budget!) is secondary. He stresses that you HAVE to follow the plan you have set out, but he really deals more with why.

Our Constitutional Rights

This topic is big for me. It always has been. This article is taken from Texas Home School Coalition on the recent California ruling that home schooling is illegal. This just wakes the giant in me...

"The cat is finally out of the bag. A California appellate court, ruling that parents have no constitutional right to homeschool their children, pinned its decision on this ominous quotation from a 47-year-old case, "A primary purpose of the educational system is to train schoolchildren in good citizenship, patriotism and loyalty to the state and the nation as a means of protecting the public welfare."

There you have it; a primary purpose of government schools is to train schoolchildren "in loyalty to the state." Somehow that protects "the public welfare" more than allowing parents to homeschool their children, even though homeschooled kids routinely outperform government-schooled kids academically. In 2006, homeschooled students had an average ACT composite score of 22.4. The national average was 21.1."
...
"It reminds me of what New York Judge Gideon Tucker said in the Nineteenth Century, "No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session."


This particular case is muddied by suspicions of child abuse, but as the Times said, the court improperly "used a single example of possible child abuse to throw the book at tens of thousands of home schoolers."

I think the state court is looking at the state Constitution upside down. The court finds no constitutional right to homeschool one's children. But in a free country, people are free to do anything not expressly prohibited by law. If the Constitution is silent about homeschooling, then the right is reserved to the people. That's how the Framers of the U.S. Constitution said things are supposed to work.


Last week, the appellate court surprised everyone by agreeing to rehear the case. The San Francisco Chronicle reports that the judges "hinted at a re-evaluation of its entire Feb. 28 ruling by inviting written arguments from state and local education officials and teachers' unions".
On top of that, state Schools Superintendent Jack O'Connell says he thinks homeschooling is legal and favors choice in education.

That's reasonable news. But why is education the business of government? It's taken for granted that the state is every child's ultimate parent, but there's no justification for that in a free society. Parents may not be perfect -- some are pretty bad -- but a cold, faceless bureaucracy is no better.
Let's hope the court gets it right in June."

30+ FREE Things to Do

While walking this morning my mind began reeling on free things my family could do. Going along with the budget I thought it might help. Thus the list was born. I thought it would be fun to have everyone add to it on your own blog. Just add the fun, free things you love to do!
1. Read a book
2. Play a game
3. Talk to someone
4. Spend time outside
5. Work in the yard
6. Pray
7. Worship
8. Read your Bible
9. Go for a walk
10. Run
11. Jump rope
12. Play basketball
13. Play football
14. Play baseball
15. Play soccer
16. Go to the park
17. Clean your room
18. Clean the garage
19. Pick-up the living room
20. Do the dishes
21. Dust
22. Clean the study
23. Clean out toys
24. Give someone a hug
25. Smile at someone
26. Read a book to someone
27. Look at pictures
28. Play with someone
29. Call a friend
30. Write a letter

If Anything is Worth Doing, It's Worth Doing Badly

That phrase will make a perfectionist squirm, but it seems to sum up my life right now. What am I up to??? This year I have been focused on eating healthier and exercising. Every time I get in shape or at least started in that direction some kind of injury would stop me. Praise God this time He's allowed me to continue. Knees-check...Feet-check...just good. It feels so good to run and sweat, to have something to work towards. It's free. It doesn't have to be cleaned up. It doesn't whine. I love it.

I have a desire to eat soaked grains, to stop sugar, and to teach my kids the same. A desire. It hasn't gone anywhere beyond that. I still love that stinkin' Dr. Pepper! I have learned that if you don't buy all the junky stuff, the kids won't shrivel up & die as they are inclined to think. Our pantry is pretty bare. Not as bare as the post below, but bare. One day after deciding that potato chips were not going to magically appear on the pantry shelf, they resigned themselves to oatmeal, apples and oranges for a snack. I was impressed. I wouldn't have thought of that.

School. Hmmm. "Why am I doing this again?" has been a tune I've been hearing a lot lately. I try to take the thought captive. I have even tried going down that path of "what if they went to school, even a nice private school?". I mean if the thought keeps coming back sometimes you do wonder if God may be putting it there. After a few seconds I realize we can't even begin to afford private school. I could teach at summit, but really. I would miss them and cry every day. That would be ridiculously silly. I would then question THAT decision. I would be so tired from teaching every child in that school art (b/c that's the way they do it) that I would really never clean house or talk to my kids. This just isn't the answer. Not now anyway. And then they have so many friends. That would really tear them up. NO, I feel called to this and always have as long as I can remember. This is just a hard time. It's the end of the year. EVERYTHING in God's creation is due right now. And then I have to think about the summer.

I've discovered that rebecca loves to listen to a teacher. She clings to every word and knows it to be gospel truth...just how she heard it. Sometimes she doesn't get it just right. But she comes alive. I am seriously considering abeka dvds for her math curriculum next year. I think it would totally motivate her even in it's cheesiness. And I just need to get something off my plate. I so often wonder: wouldn't someone else be a better teacher for them? There are so many days I am unmotivated and just want to get the work DONE. Who cares if they learn anything or even like it. Just do it! Then there are the days when we sit down and read together and laugh and squawk over some awesome book we are reading. Or they come home from co-op and dissect a flower and know all the parts. I didn't even KNOW you could dissect a flower! Or we learn about bees. Or we FINALLY start dictation exercises, and they get better at it every day. Or they learn how to play "The Star Spangled Banner". Or they tell me I'm the best teacher they've ever had! And I think, wow. God did that. God carved out the time to learn that. He did it. They've asked to do school this summer. And we need to. Such an answer to prayer. I just hate it when we question, "God am I REALLY doing what you want me to be doing? Or am I kidding myself? Am I getting in Your way?" One thing's for sure. When it's all said and done, everything that any of us do is to the glory of God. It cannot be done unless HE wills it to be so. "Had it not been the Lord who was on our side, the waters would have engulfed us...we would have surely died."

Lastly, we've been budgetizing. I hate it. I can't sleep at night. Micah asked me several weeks ago to be in charge of it again. Not to make all the decisions, just keep track of our expenses. But something happens to me when I do that (which is why I stopped in the first place). I become obsessive. I can't help it. I have this thing in me...err perfectionism...cough...cough. I just have to do everything I do the very best I can. I immediately start thinking about every expense that needs to be cut. Problem is, certain people (we won't mention any names to protect the guilty) don't think these things need to be cut. They see them as necessities. And then I wonder why in the world we're going through all the trouble if we're never going to change anything! Oh my! So frustrating. We've been listening to Dave Ramsey. He is so incredibly awesome. He tells it like it is, and that is exactly what we need to hear. He has ten steps (surprise!) and we found out we're working on steps 6, 7, and 10 but haven't even done the first 5. Or we skip to step 2 but didn't complete number 1. No wonder we can't make anything work.