Pizza & Candy

I just ate a lot of junk food today, and I have an OB appointment on Monday. Great. This is NOT a good combination.

Howdy Ya'll!

I'm 27 weeks, and the baby weighs just over 2 pounds! How cool is that?

I've wanted to do this post for sometime, so here goes...

"You Know You're in Texas When":
1) It's 78 degrees outside and you see old ladies in coats at Walgreens.
2) Everyone walks around with goose bumps when it's 85 and windy.
3) There's a drought yet it rains every other day.
4) There are no orange or yellow leaves. They just turn brown and fall off.
5) We get excited and break out the hot chocolate for our first cold front. It reached 58 degrees... at midnight.
6) You shop for your Christmas tree...donning shorts.
7) Your kids start praying in October that it will at least be chilly when they pick out their tree in December.
8) You serve up your favorite fall soup...when it's 95 degrees, the coldest day of the week.

My Living Room Looks Like a Goodwill Store

I forgot to mention on my blog that my blood test came back normal. Yeah! No restrictive diets. Wonderful news.

I have been cleaning out closets, sorting pictures, cleaning under my bed. Have you ever found a broken glass under your bed? I'd love to know the story of that one. I have about 6 plastic trash bags between my living room and car. All of them go to different places. Will they ever go away? I don't know. It's a few tiny steps every day. But what I've accomplished looks great! I found a new way to organize the medicines in the bathroom. I even had a enough space for all that extra stuff you keep on hand in the bathroom...toothbrushes, soap, etc. And you can see it all! Everyone should have a baby about every 5 years. These are things I've wanted to accomplish for at least that long. I feel like the Amazon Woman.

I'm coming closer to finishing our photos. I finished two more years last week. I'm ready to order more, and then the gauntlet came down last night. Micah informed me that my Picassa tray was "accidentally" emptied when he closed it down. Oh well. It will give me something else to do. That was a whole year!

We got the invites out today, and they are adorable! The girls did such a great job on them. I think they are very creative and beautiful.

Maria...

was an answer to prayer. I felt horrible yesterday morning. My head was spinning and I had a splitting headache. After two days I was tired of feeling that way. I sat on the couch and cried. When would my life be normal again? What if I felt this way after the baby arrived? Would I be able to care for her or the other children? I didn't even know if I could take care of them now. Putting them in school just so they would have childcare seemed a viable option.

I finally decided to stop "coping" and just call my doctor's office. The nurse has been in close contact with me about what is going on. At 1pm on the dot, she called back. Maria was her name. My regular nurse was out of the office for the day. Coincidence? I don't think so. She talked to the doctor who reported I should be eating every 2 hours. Well, that could be why I feel like crap all the time. She said to eat little bits of protein at each "meal" and only 4 total carbs for the whole day. But, bless her heart, the first thing she said was, "Your sugar really wasn't that bad (it was 4 points over), and maybe on Friday the test will hopefully come out fine." I wanted to hug her, send her flowers, tell her how special she was! Heaven sent. I desperately needed her encouragement. She talked with me for a while about nutrition and the importance of eating protein after exercise and drinking 10 glasses of water a day. I felt all the pieces come into place and a complete peace wash over me. I was concerned about drinking more glucola if I was already dizzy (I have another test this morning at 7am). She reassured me that the doctor stated it only stays in your bloodstream for 2 hours. Whew. She even told me to bring along protein to eat after the test. What a sweetheart. God bless Maria!

I went and had a praise moment afterward! God is so good. We just don't even know.

Can't Sleep

Too many things on my mind. Loose ends to be tied I guess. Things I just haven't had time for. I'm frustrated that I don't have my kids writing every day. They do have to write in a journal, no matter what. But, I mean papers. Real, live papers. A good idea will strike me, and that's as far as I get. I don't even care if I read the papers. I just want them to write! Lord, I need help.

I have officially sorted through 2,650 photos from the past 4 years. I now have several hundred to put in albums. Needless to say, there are a few stacks I ordered that 'ahem' I already had printed and ready to put into albums. Oh well.

Last thing on my mind. How could my due date possibly be off? I've checked and rechecked the calendar. It could only be off by a week, at the most. To be blunt my last cycle was on my birthday. That's a little hard to forget. Okay, I won't worry about it anymore.

Peace

We now have a room for the baby. I cannot tell you how much absolute peace this brings me. We moved Blaine back to his old room (Rebecca's room) and moved Rebecca to his room (the large one). Thank goodness with a little cash and Spider Man we were able to make the pale blue work for Blaine. Because I absolutely could not paint another room! We painted the large room lavender, or at least I should say Micah did. I was in there doing something that whole time, but I don't know what exactly. It looks so nice. I even got the closets painted a little. It makes such a difference to the state of my mind. We don't have the crib set up, but just knowing everyone's stuff is where it is supposed to be is HUGE. I also drug out all the baby stuff that has been donated to us that we won't be using. I have it bagged up and ready to go to LifeCare Pregnancy Center. Everything looks so much better and ORGANIZED. Ahhhhh. Can you hear the sigh of relief?

Next....I am measuring at almost 29 weeks. I have been measuring several weeks ahead of my due date for a while now. So, I get to have another sonogram in two weeks to check the baby's size and the amniotic fluid levels. So, please pray. I don't want to have a huge baby. Not because of pain or anything. Just because I know this is our last and I want to enjoy her as much as possible while she is little (not that I want her to weigh 4 pounds or anything either). I just love that wrinkly newborn look. It is so precious and tiny. I also of course don't want anything to be wrong with the amniotic levels or anything else. My doctor didn't seem concerned, she just said she wanted to have a sonogram. But I really don't know her well enough to read her anyway. I'm hungry.

25 Weeks

I can't believe I'm 25 weeks along! It feels like the time is whizzing by. Unfortunately this means time with baby will, too. On the other hand, sometimes it seems forever away. But I feel good, and that is encouraging. Just tired. Pretty much always tired. But it's for a good reason. I think we'll start working on baby's room this weekend.

Broken Dreams

My dear, sweet friend miscarried her baby this week at 4 months. It is difficult to explain how I feel. I cannot imagine the sadness she must feel. I hesitate to blog about it because often she will read my blogs, and I do not want to make her feel sad or exposed. But blogging is the place I feel safe to write about everything on my mind and heart. It is sort of an anonymous way to get things off my chest, to lay it all bare. Not blogging about such an important sadness would not be true to myself or our friendship. She means a lot to me.

The hardest part has been seeing her sadness. Not many people in your life will allow you to be a part of their sadness. It is a rare occasion, yet when it happens we pray for grace to know how best to comfort.

That is all I feel I need to say about it for now. I feel deeply for her and pray for God's rest and healing. I pray I can be some small comfort for her. I love you, my friend.

Abigail

Have I mentioned that is most likely going to be the name? We're already calling her that, so I guess that makes it more of a done deal. We decided when we saw the sonogram. So far we're thinking of Catherine as a middle name, but we haven't made any final decisions. She's a cutie! Last Friday she finally weighed one pound! Now she weighs 1 1/4 pounds! There's no turning back now!

Baby Showers and Such

I'm having a shower. Elizabeth is planning it. When did she grow up? I sent emails, but I'm not sure anyone checks them anymore. Or, do I even have the right ones? So, I'm hoping to spread the word...if you live far away please do not feel obligated to come. I'd rather you stay home and we'll visit at Thanksgiving or Amber's wedding. There is no need to drive a long distance only to catch a glimpse of each other, similar to weddings. I'd also rather we get to see you once the little cutie arrives. That way she can meet all her aunties. Now, if you have a trip planned to visit that weekend, and you feel up to it, of course I'd be more than delighted to see you there. So, when you get the invite now you know not to catch a flight from Bermuda to L-.

Let Them Eat Cake

I never knew where this phrase came from until today. Okay, honestly, without peeking how many of you know??? No peeking! I'm going to feel really dumb if you all know this. Jesse doesn't count, and it's possible that Tammie doesn't either.

Marie Antoinette said it when she was told that the poor in France had no bread to eat. Stupidly she thought they had just run out of bread and could pick something else out of their pantry! She had no idea they were literally taxing the people to death while they were living in the lap of luxury. I guess she figured it out later when her head hit the guillotine!

Better Day

Today is going much, much better. I needed a silver lining. Thank you, Jesus! I've decided to engage my mind in a project. A project of this magnitude has not been attempted by anyone, so it could be dangerous. The project...to download and print photos. Sound easy? I haven't done it, well, since Blaine was a baby. So, it's only 6 years. I mean, really, this should be a piece of cake! My new resolution (once this is completed of course)...never to get this far behind again. I can do it. Deep breath. The computer is currently downloading 500+ pictures, and that's just half of 2006!

Say No to Sprouts

I had the weirdest experience yesterday. I ran an errand to Sprouts for a friend of mine. I inquired about their iron supplements because I am in need of one. The lady chided me for wanting to go with the brand the doctor (and midwife) ordered. She said, "I have 14 grandchildren, and this is safe for pregnancy." I wanted to slap her. Pregnancy brings out the best in me. :I I continued to resist saying that I really wanted to check with my doctor first as I know that some herbs can be more dangerous during pregnancy than some medications. And inevitably every natural supplement has some sort of herb or something you should be wary of in pregnancy. You would have thought I told her the World Trade Center had never been attacked by planes. I have never been made to feel so stupid in all my life. She just couldn't believe that I wanted to check with my doctor first. It will be a while before I can muster the courage to walk into that place again. Even the people at People's Pharmacy have told me they cannot recommend certain things for pregnant women.

Anyway, the whole experience went along with the rest of my wonderful day. Maybe today will be better!

Utter Dependence on Christ

I feel frustrated with myself. I'm currently reading an adolescent book, and I think the book applies more to me than to her. All I can see is that I do all the things it talks about your adolescent doing. What in the world? And the more I try to be a better parent, the more I have crash landings! I guess I'm learning more and more my utter dependence on Christ.

Today she was crying in her room over her spelling. I went in to do my parental duty. I'd rather run away, hide in a shell and not care. Sorry, just being brutally honest here. But I went in and asked what was wrong (as if I didn't know). She refused any comfort I tried to give. I'm so like that! Finally, I just told her that I really wanted to help her but I felt like walking out and giving up. I was so frustrated. After that, I felt much better, and I THINK she may have started to listen. Everything is so cut and dried with teenagers. "But you said I have to have the list ready for tomorrow." "No, that was for your regular spelling words. These spelling words are from your writing. Have these ready by Monday." "But I can't. I have to have them ready for tomorrow."

I wanted to fling my arms up in desperation. I've had one minute to myself today; I think it was in the bathroom. I'm tired. And I really, really want not to care. Selfishly, I'd rather be on craig's list looking for a cradle. But I stayed and helped her figure out a way to make the list more manageable. But I can't help but leave the room with the looming question, "But did her heart change at all, or did we just patch things up?" I don't know. Only God knows. All I know is this task is way too hard for me. I've got to have absolute utter dependence on God. I thought of this example years ago when looking up from under a tree. I realized the branches are utterly dependent on the trunk to hold them up. They don't tense up wondering if the trunk will hold them. They just spread their leafy arms and sprawl out upon the sky, soaking up every bit of sunshine they can. Through storm, rain, wind, ice, and snow they are utterly dependent upon that trunk. They know the weight of the trunk is able to hold them down and keep them suspended no matter how far out the bow. I must be as that branch...for He is the vine, and we are the branches.

I'm Gonna Miss That Girl...

...when she grows up.

She's sitting in her room playing Littlest Pet Shop. She has saved her money to buy a new one. Popo bought her one instead. It's a little sea horse with a shell. How many 12 1/2 year olds do you know that sit in their room playing Littlest Pet Shop? She's got KLOVE on, the door open, and I can see her set-up when I walk by. Her room is clean, and her friend just called. I just want to cry because I know these days are fleeting. I will miss this little girl because in just a year or so, she will forever be gone. The young woman she is destined to become will replace the child. She may keep her Littlest Pets forever, and the child-like quality in her will always be somewhat there. But the little two-year-old who set out Fisher Price people and talked to them for hours is slowly slipping out of my hands. I hope when I am old and gray I will pass by that room and remember this moment. Laughter. Sunshine. Hope. Tears. Joy. Kindness. Graciousness. Helpfulness. All the things that embody that child. I hope and pray they will go with her into adulthood. She sure is a treasure.

Zero Gravity Girls Team Places 2nd!!!

The gymnastic meet went really well. My mom and I had a good time driving down together. We got to chat and sit in a little traffic. Not too bad. I helped her find the tollway which she has never been able to find. We ate at Chili's that night. Man, it was good! I had broccoli, mashed potatoes, french fries, and a hamburger. Now before you all freak out, I halved everything with Rebecca. Except the broccoli. I gave some of that to my mom and scarfed the rest. They make really good broccoli there. Try it. It's only $1.50 and well worth it! But it was the best Bacon Ranch Burger I've ever had. I was so hungry. We topped it off with some fresh baked caramel chocolate chip cookies from the hotel desk.

The hotel was posh. A nice king-sized bed for mom and me, and Rebecca had her own little fold out couch with her own tv. She thought she was in heaven. :)

We woke early the next morning to get her dressed and ready. While it poured rain we enjoyed a nice breakfast at the hotel. There is nothing like ice cold orange juice!

My mom thoroughly enjoyed the meet. She had lots of questions about what was going on and how things worked. It's kind of like a circus, and you have to pick where to focus. We focused on our girl, of course. The judge's handed out low scores this time around, but Rebecca shined on the beam. She got her best score ever on beam, a 9.0! Even some of the girls that always do really well on beam only scored 9.4. So I was happy with that. Everything else she scored in the 8 range. But I thought she did really well. I video recorded her routines so she could see them later. This was the best I have ever been able to see her routines. And to top off the whole weekend her team placed 2nd out of all the teams there!!!! The funny thing was I didn't notice it until I saw the coach with a rolled up banner. Kind of embarrassing, but they had pictures to look at on these computers, and I was busy doing that and trying to get done so we could get out of there when it was over. Rebecca came home with 5 metals. She was quite proud of herself!!! I think she was disappointed in her scores but wouldn't admit it.

We enjoyed lunch at Chik-Fil-A, with a milk shake provided by Granny. Then we stopped at Kid to Kid in San Antonio, my all-time favorite resale shop here in Austin. I had no idea they had one in other cities, but there it was right by our hotel! I found a cute nursing cover, some maternity jeans from Motherhood, and a sweater. Oh, and one cute little outfit for only $2! I only spent $20 on all that stuff. I was very pleased. I love that place.

On the way home it rained cats and dogs. We couldn't see the traffic in front of us, so we had to drive real slow and it took forever to get home. All in all, I'm REALLY glad I went with my mom. I think it might have been stressful driving home in all that rain with someone I don't know as well. And...I wouldn't have gotten a wonderful weekend filled with my mother's presence! As proven, God always knows what is best. Why can't I trust Him more when I can't see the end result?

Already Here

"We must never allow our children to believe in a God who is distant and uninvolved, who comes to the rescue only when He hears our cries in prayer. The Bible presents God as someone who is near and active in our lives. The psalmist says that 'He is an ever-present help in trouble' (Ps. 46:1). There is no divine 911 telephone line because God is already here and already active. There is never a moment in which God is absent or inactive. There is never a situation, location, or relationship that He does not rule.....God is near. God is involved. This moment is His moment, where He is actively accomplishing His will. The thing that is most important in this moment is not what we desire, but what He is doing." -Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens, Paul David Tripp

"He is an ever-present help in trouble." The verse really struck me in a different sort of way. I needed to hear that for this week, this time. I feel sometimes every day with my teenager is a battle. Not every moment, just that there will be some battle for her soul and our relationship at some point in the day. How I handle the battle is of utmost importance, even more important than her reactions to me, even more important than respect or obedience or a teachable heart. I desire these things for her, but she is only just beginning to learn what it means to be an adult, and I cannot hope to see these things for a while. And the most important thing in the moment is not what we desire (ie: obedience, respect, teachable heart) but what GOD is doing. If I could just get my arms around that.

God is already here. He is already in the situation at work, in me, in her. He is here this morning accomplishing His purposes in my son, my daughters, my husband, and me. That is amazing.