I am Learning

That I am not defined by what I do but WHO I am. Not that I've learned it; I said I AM learning. I broke down crying in the doctor's office Monday about. My doc put on her psychologist hat and gave me some counsel. It is difficult to explain because we are ALWAYS, ALWAYS wanting a break as a mother, yet deep down I don't know that we really do. When one can suddenly no longer do the dishes, clean the house, make dinner, do her own laundry, make her own bed you feel sort of...useless. It's weird. I think because there is no choice in the matter. When we "vacation" we're CHOOSING to take a break from those tasks. When we're sick or way-too-pregnant-and-too-much-activity-gives-me-contractions then there is no choosing. It is forced upon us and we suddenly have to face the demon staring at us in the closet, telling us we're worthless. But thankfully I have wonderful friends reminding me that I'm making a baby, a life that will forever live into eternity praising our Lord. But I am still learning.